Friday, September 16, 2011

Is Osama bin Laden Dead? Investigating the Grand Conspiracy

Al-Qaeda Agents?

As you may know, there are some who doubt Osama bin Laden was actually killed. They doubt that there were any pictures of the body which was dumped in the sea, an act far too convenient for them.

There is a similar controversy growing over the killer whale which killed SeaWorld trainer Dawn Brancheau. Her family wants to keep the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration from releasing photos or videos of the death to the public.

How do we know there are pictures if they aren't released? How can the autopsy report be trusted? For all we know, Dawn Brancheau was killed by Osama bin Laden, and this crime is being covered up and blamed on the innocent killer whale.

Read more here.

In any case, I don't believe the Republicans would fail to use the lack of evidence of a dead Osama bin Laden against a Democrat president if there was any chance it was true. That we buried his body at sea in accordance with his religion (which he was bad at following) and didn't bring it back home to use for bragging rights just goes to show the moral superiority of the USA. We treat our enemies better than they would treat us because we're America. We'll disregard that my first impulse would have been to make hacky sacks out of his nuts, and perhaps, post pictures of his incredibly small penis on a Flickr account so that the world could get a good laugh. That would be wrong, and I'm glad America chose to not keep around a decaying dead bastard that more bastards would have probably come to reclaim.

The fact that opposing members of our representative government can verify that the Navy SEAL raid did in fact occur and take out America's Most Wanted is good enough for me. It's at least as good as seeing a photo or video (either of which could be doctored) or having been there myself. Of course, eyewitness testimony is unreliable so why should I believe myself about stuff I've seen?

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